Know Yourself
If knowledge is power, then knowing yourself is the key to unlocking your might
Knowing yourself goes far beyond knowing your favourite foods and what kind of sandwich you are (although knowing that is very important, too).
Knowing yourself means being able to articulate your story clearly, being confident in what you have to offer, being self-aware, recognizing your areas of improvement, and being able to know where you want to go. Knowing yourself isn’t an easy task. It’s hard work, it can be emotionally taxing, and it can take time and a lot of effort to get the information you need to know yourself on a deep level.
To really know yourself is to know your past in a comprehensive way, understand and better manage yourself today, and forge your way to the future you want.
Here are 21 things that, when explored, will give you a solid foundation in knowing yourself.
THE PAST: Know your personal history
1. The journey of your ancestors
Why do you have your features, your accent, your name, and your social status?
In some Western countries, people of colour are often asked “where are you from?” or “where were you born?”, with the underlying assumption that they are others who are not from there. Knowing your ancestors journey goes well-beyond that exclusionary question. And this question is for everyone: Instead of where were you born, ask yourself why were you born where you were born? Why was your mother where she was when she gave birth to you? What led your parents to that place in their lives? If they were there for education or work, were there any historical, political, or social circumstances that led them to choose that particular place?
What do you know about your grandparents and their grandparents reasons for being where they were during the course of their lives? How far back can you trace where your ancestors moved to and why? What caused their migration patterns? What did they bring with them and what did they leave behind? How did their lives unfold in the places they settled in? What did they envision for themselves, their kids and future generations?
Knowing your ancestors journey is powerful, it is humbling, and it can explain a lot of things about you today.
2. Your story
Being able to talk about yourself and your life, the highs and lows, with an appreciation for your triumphs, failures, struggles, and simply your own personal journey, is a source of confidence and strength in itself. Michele Obama’s Becoming and the accompanying journal is one way of discovering the narrative for your own story in your own voice. Writing this story down can help you talk about it in a way that is empowering for you.
THE PRESENT: Understand yourself today
3. The privileges you hold
A privilege is defined by Oxford Dictionary as “a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.”
In what areas of life today do you have advantage over others? Think about your education, gender, sexuality, appearance, ethnicity, nationality, name, religion, age, social status, and more. What weight do these different aspects of your identity carry in different settings? Think about a person or a group of people who don’t share the same identity as you to recognize how you might have advantages over those who are different.
4. The resources available to you
Each of us has access to a different set of resources, and usually we have access to a lot more resources than we are aware of. If you live in a place with a good library system or community centre, those are amazing starting points. For those without such access, the internet is filled with all kinds of resources, and even platforms like Medium and YouTube can be excellent sources of information and tips that can help us so much. Some people have started new careers simply from learning new skills through an article or a video. Beyond information, resources can include access to people, places, events, and opportunities. Take time to discover what is available to you. Being able to take advantage of all the resources available to you can help you maximize your potential.
5. The state of your mental health
Many people live with depression and anxiety, among other mental health conditions, without knowing it and sometimes they live this way for years. They accept the symptoms as simply part of life without realizing there is help for getting better. Ask yourself, how has your mental health been lately?
6. The state of your physical health
Similar to mental health, many have underlying physical health conditions that they are unaware of. Lack of energy and different types of pain end up being tolerated as the norm when in fact there is likely something, often simple, that can be done to alleviate the symptoms and help with feeling better. If you have the access, try to get at least one full check up a year, including a dental check up.
7. What your body is telling you
Can you recognize what your body is communicating to you?
Your body can tell you many things, from simple things like when you are thirsty or hungry to more complex things like when you are unwell, stressed or anxious, reaching the limits of your physical abilities, and even that you are in a toxic environment or relationship.
It is important to take note of changes, sometimes subtle, like changes to energy levels, increased or decreased need for sleep, sensations in different body parts, and your ability to concentrate.
Practicing mindfulness can help with noticing when your body is speaking to you.
8. Your Rights
Each human being is born with certain human rights. Do you know your rights as a human?
In addition to those, during the course of your life, you will find yourself in different situations, places, and roles. You might be a student, a child, a spouse, an employee, a customer, a landlord, a tenant, a temporary worker, a resident, or a citizen.
In each of these places and roles, you will have different rights. Know your rights so you can ensure they are respected.
9. Your Opinions
Take a moment to reflect — are the views you hold your own? Or are they someone else’s opinions? Are your opinions informed? Or are they based on biases and incomplete information? Do you lack opinions on certain topics, especially controversial issues? Learn about issues from different sources and perspectives before you make up your mind and be open to discovering a new perspective and changing your opinion.
10. Your Strengths
“[People] who use their natural talents achieve the most — but they need to know what those talents are.”
Leave behind the cliche of turning your weaknesses into strengths. Instead, hone in on your actual strengths. Leverage your strengths at work and in your personal life. And work to become even better at them. One tool for discovering your strengths is the Clifton Strengths Assessment, available through Gallup.
11. Your Ability to listen
How well do you listen? And why does it even matter? Like most people, you probably think you are a fairly good listener and, also like most people, you are probably wrong. Listening is a vital communication skill and simply becoming aware of how your fare with this skill can help you improve. Here are 12 ways to become a better listener.
12. How you actually spend your time
Knowing how you actually spend your time can be a game changer. Tracking, without judgement, is the best way to know where your time and attention is going. Having that data on hand can help you make the changes you want. Here’s how to track and apps to help you with the process.
13. Your Core Values
If you ever need to make a decision and don’t know what to do or if you’ve ever made a choice and are wondering if you made the right one, your core values will give you the answer you seek.
Your core values are a powerful force that control the direction of your life and how you feel about it. Your core values are those top values of yours that are essential to you, they describe the essence of who you are and what is important to you.
You can discover your core values with the guidance of many resources, including this video or this one.
14. Your Emotional Triggers
What are those things that get you riled up? What topics make you angry, sad, or upset? What phrases make you defensive? Read here on how to identify your emotional triggers and how you can manage them.
15. How you handle stress
Everyone experiences stress. It’s important to know how you handle it. Do you know what your coping mechanisms are? Are these strategies conducive to or harmful for your health?
16. Why certain situations in your life keep repeating
A warrior of light knows that certain moments repeat themselves.
He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.
‘I’ve been through all this before,’ he says to his heart.
‘Yes, you have been through all this before,’ replies his heart. ‘But you have never been beyond it.’
Then the warrior realises that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn
― Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light
17. The ways in which you get in your own way
Which of your thoughts or behaviours are getting in your own way? Here’s how to stop sabotaging yourself.
18. Your fears
What are your afraid of? What gives you anxiety? How do your fears hold you back?
19. Your communication style
Are you a passive, aggressive, or assertive communicator? What is your communication style and how is it impacting you and others?
THE FUTURE: Decide where you want to go next
20. Your Goals
What are you aiming for? Why? And how can you get there?
21. What is the life you want to live before you die?
Reading about the Five Regrets of the Dying may offer a valuable perspective.
How well do you know yourself? What else do you think would make a good addition to this list?
